Beyond Excited

I've been talking to people about my trip for months, telling them about what I'll be doing, why I chose Nicaragua, who inspired me, how I'm fundraising, etc. I can talk ad nauseum about all these fact-based things, but as soon as I run out of information to share, all I can say is, "I'm really excited!" This is generally followed by a relatively awkward pause during which I realize that the depth of my feeling is really not getting across, so I try to explain just how stoked I am and end up repeating myself. Time and time again, those seem to be the only words my brain can come up with to describe how I feel about my trip. No synonyms, no elaboration... Just "I'm really excited."

I am really excited about my trip - How could I not be? I leave NEXT FRIDAY! - but instead of repeating the obvious when someone asks me about it, I wish I had the presence of mind to mention some of the other things I'm feeling:

Frazzled. The last time I left the country on my own, I went to spend six days with my dear friend Eliza in Hawaii. All I had to do was book the flight, grab some cash, pack a bag and get on the plane. This time around, the logistics are significantly more complex. Two months is a long time to be away, so I have to work things out so that the condo is taken care of  - and clean, too, because my other dear friend Charley will be moved in by the time I get back! I have to talk to the bank and VISA and insurance companies to work out all kinds of money/liability details, buy all kinds of things I need to take with me, cancel the cable and run a hundred errands. When I toss all this on top of the facts that I'm still working, I had an exam on Monday, it's summer time and I have to make a trip to Cold Lake first, things get a little hectic!

Giddy. That being said, I want to do all these things. I'm so thrilled every time I buy a new item for my first aid kit ("Oooh, Gravol's on sale!") or cross another thing off my exceptionally huge to-do list. I do a tiny happy dance when I look at the BaseCamp site and see the countdown it gives me ("Eightdayseightdayseightdays!") and every time I talk to my mom on the phone, I lead with "I leeeeaaave so soooooooon!" It's probably pretty irritating, actually, but it's all I can think about so therefore pretty much all I can talk about.

Motivated. I've been listening to the Coffee Break Spanish podcasts my friend Matt suggested and I'm really into them! It's frustrating that there are certain phrases that stick really well and others that just refuse to be retained. For example, Matt taught me the word "entonces" on Friday and it took until yesterday for me to be able to actually remember it without checking the note I wrote myself. I also got a vocabulary app for my phone that is teaching me simple things like numbers, days of the week and colours. The app is so good that I actually paid for the full version to get more levels! I've always been really interested in languages so it's really cool to be learning a new one for the first time in fifteen years. I can't wait to be able to carry on a conversation - ahora, es difficile!

Curious. I've never been on an adventure like the one that's starting so soon, and I really don't know what to expect. I wonder about the food, the accommodations, the weather, the people, and my placement. I want to be meeting new people already, discovering new places already and absorbing new information already. Being in the hospital for four weeks is going to be wild; I'm going to learn so much!